Loving and being loved back is the most amazing yet gut wrenching feeling you will ever feel. It is painfully awesome and wonderfully sad at the same time. It’s like one moment you’re on cloud 9 then suddenly you find yourself sliding unwillingly down to hell hole. The roller coaster change of emotion makes us crave for it more. Being in love is like an addiction- you just can’t help yourself. Love being addictive is why most of the time we tend to love so hard to the point where we are getting crushed with the intensity of the love we are giving. We do not notice it at the beginning because it starts with a small harmless hole in our being until it gets bigger and bigger and we can no longer handle the emptiness the hole created, like a black hole in space that sucks everything around its circle- including itself and that is all just because we loved too hard.
One might say there is nothing wrong with giving love. Yes, you are correct, but giving too much? That is a different story. My doctor once told me too much of everything is bad and unhealthy. Even too much water can cause coma.
You might think it is harmless to pour your heart out in loving someone but you will see the implications later. You see, when you love so hard you will unconsciously start giving pieces of yourself to your partner because we want them to be happy,we want them to feel contented and satisfied with our love but it is in human being’s nature to want something more than what we already have and maybe that same feeling enabled us to evolve and that is why humans are on top of the pyramid. We seem to always want more and every time our partner is looking for more we tend to give what they want even if we do not have it or we can no longer give it.
We give everything to them and leave nothing for ourselves and when the time comes that both of you decided to go your separate ways you are left with broken and lost pieces of yourself that they took when they left and you can no longer get it back nor demand them to hand it over to you. The pieces they took makes it difficult for you to seal the hole in your being. Where are you going to get the missing pieces? How? For how long are you going to rebuild it?
Stemming from giving them everything is letting them be too dependent on us. They will get use to you doing everything you can to give them whatever they want, the next thing you’ll know you’re bombarded with demands from your partner and maybe you’re not able to give it to them and you will be on each other’s throat that will leave you crying for an hour or maybe for a day because of the words thrown at you. And it hurts, it’s the kind of pain that cannot be suppressed no matter how hard you try to hide it or convince yourself that everything is okay. It will always resurface and each time it comes back it gets worse and worse. It will be a cycle, like a hurricane coming your way getting ready to destroy you. But because we love them too much even if it’s destroying us we can’t let go. We love with hands held tight in our back, eyes closed and mouths shut like a criminal pleaded guilty. We are afraid to let go because we have invested too much. Too much time, effort, money and too much of our lives. We find it impossible to break away on the chain we have put ourselves into.
And, the saddest truth of loving someone too much is the possibility that they don’t feel exactly the same. They probably love you more, love you less, or worse- they don’t love you at all.